The Daily Sporfler

Oh dear. I see we have a few messages wondering where we are, and well you might ask. We've been a bit useless lately, haven't we?

Basically, we've been pretty busy, and that doesn't look likely to change any time soon. One of us has just started her final year in college, and is rushed off her feet. The other is spending a year in Japan, which entails a lot of work and a shoddy internet connection, and is still recovering from dissertation-related RSI. So Sporfle duties are kind of problematic for both of us at the moment. We haven't forgotten about it, and have every intention of reviving this at some point in the future, but... yeah, it's probably going to be on hiatus for a while yet. We're sorry to let you all down, because we've really enjoyed doing this, but it seems to be a bit more than either of us can manage at the moment.

I told my co-sporfler "No, don't be silly, of course I'll do tonight's post!" Then I got home and realised I was so tired my eyes were crossing. It's already after twelve here anyhow, so tomorrow (today really) will just have to be a two-post day. Apologies to all!

A big happy birthday to my co-sporfler, who is now officially old!

Too busy to Sporfle today - sorry about that! Will make up for it tomorrow.

Oh, also we would like to pay tribute to the legendary pottersues, who has hung up her spork as of today. She is the reason both of us Sporflers originally joined Livejournal, and an obvious inspiration to us. We salute you, o Evil Lesbian Overlord!

The Sporfle Hall of Fame has been (at long last) updated once more. Congratulations are in order to katydidnot and bambbles, our latest award winners!

Aaaand a Christmas Sporfle-related message for you all: today is a historic moment. We've been found by one of our Sporfle authors! Kudos to alphafemale08 for being a good sport about our sporking of her fic, and a merry Christmas to everybody!

We couldn't help noticing that some of you make some great icons from the things we post here (check out our icons page for some of the best!). And we thought it would be a laugh to encourage this, and have somewhere to keep all the icons together. So we have set up sporfle_icons, a place for you to post any userpics, banners, etc., based on quotes from daily_sporfle. Do check it out - can't wait to see what you come up with!

Today's fic has been postponed due to the Big Event tomorrow: our 300-Day Post will be up. The two of us have spent all afternoon getting it together and are now a little crazed.

In other news, a big happy birthday is in order to my co-Sporfler! She's all old!

Sorry, folks. There will be no post tonight, as one of us is performing in a play and, uh, the other is going to a play. Sorry this has been happening a lot lately, but like I said, it's being a busy and not altogether fun time for both of us at the moment. Normal service should resume soon enough.

The Sporfle Hall of Fame has once more been updated. Go check it out!

Since Fanfiction.net is apparently malfunctioning, and Harry Potter Fanfiction.com just generally sucks, there will be no sporfle tonight. Really sorry. Will try and make it up to you all soon.

A proper post will follow later in the day; for now, the Daily Sporfle wants YOUR opinions!


Poll #586007 Sporfle Store poll
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All

If we opened a merchandise store, would you be likely to buy stuff from it?

If buying stuff, which would be more convenient for you, in terms of shipping rates?

If we wanted to sell illustrated designs, would you be willing to contribute a drawing or two (e.g. Voldemort buttering a biscuit)?

What sort of merchandise would you be more interested in?

Ticky box!

I felt it was time to improve the filing system around here, and so have gone rummaging back in the stacks, tagging Sporfles of old.

Here's a handy reference guide, in case anybody feels the need to go searching for old favourites!

Daily Sporfle's Tagging System

The tags refer to the quotes contained in the posts, rather than the fictions themselves - this is because sometimes I've spread a particularly good piece of badfic over a couple of days, and different things have come up.

crossover
For crossovers (duh).
Example:
The Chosen One of the Valar - for when two fandoms just aren't enough.

omgwtfbbq
For stuff that just doesn't make sense.
Example: The famous Manatee Quote from the Starlight Butterfly and Dark Dagger post

speling
For misspellings and spellcheck mishaps. This tag turned out to be a dud; practically every fic we've ever featured has dreadful spelling.
Example (one of many): Changing for the Good or the Worst?

grammars
Indicates the presence of bad grammar. And when we say bad, we mean really, really bad.
Example:
mistic-night1992 collection

pun'ctuation
For those authors who think that exclamations points are safer in numbers, and who need to be told that full stops are for the ends of sentences.
Example:
Kneazle Luv

rage
For rage-inspiring fics: a sporfle has to be really out of the ordinary to merit this tag. Generally, they're fics that involve Oirish characters or mangle the English language beyond the point where even we could find it amusing.
Example: Bad things lead to love (Part One)

gaah
For fiction that's worse than usual.
Example: Pheonix Ashes

disturbing
For fiction that worries us.
Example: Tumbleweed

favourite!
The Sporfler's selections.
Example:Betrayal: Vampires

sporfle award
Marks any fiction that inspired an entry in the Sporfle Hall of Fame.
Example: The Legacy

songfic
Self-explanatory. Why you'd want to seek out songfics anyway, I don't know, but here's the tag just in case.
Example: Fallen

songness
For fiction containing songs - original songs written by the author, by the way. If you want to see Draco Malfoy rapping, or hear the Sorting Hat get abused once again, this is where to look.
Example: HP Song Parody

bad sexx
For teh smut!
Example: Memories and Dreams

collection
This is for the a Hundred-Day Celebrations and the inaugural post, my pre-Daily Sporfle collection.
Example: The Great Unknowns

bad dialogue
Hagrid-speak, saccharine love mush, and hilarious Death Eater invective all fall into this category, but let's face it - pretty much any dialogue that males its way into a post also qualifies.
Example: Incomplete

canon rape
You may see this teamed with the "rage" tag.
Example: The EllaFudge collection

neologisms
For authors who are so creative that they just can't find enough words in the English language to express themselves with.
Example: Jen Gose to Hogwarts

informative
Posts by the Sporflers which don't relate specifically to the day's feature. Like this one, for example!

mary-sue
For hideous (female) OCs, and any canon female who gets an equally hideous makeover/name-change/discovery of totally non-canon background. Check out pottersues for a more thorough definition of the term if you need one.
Example: False Witness Born Down on Me

taco show
Another Pottersues-born term: for when a male character gets a sex change. (To date, I don't think we've featured a story with the opposite event - a Magic Stick - but I'll add the tag when it happens.)
Example: ripples in a crimson pond

self-insert
When the main character is clearly a thinly-disguised version of the author. (Often teamed with the "mary-sue" tag.)
Example: TheAdventure to Howgarts

awful names
Again, they've got to be pretty awful before they merit this tag.
Example: Angel

gary-stu
The male equivalent of a Mary Sue. If a male character is disguised as having "got buff over the summer", or if there's some ridiculous claim made about Harry having gained muscles from playing Quidditch, you can be pretty certain that there's a Gary Stu in the offing.
Example: Kentucky Fried Pheonix

awful title
Self-explanatory, I feel.
Example: My Yerning Love Is Forever Eternal

repeat offender
For authors of more than one Sporfle feacher. This honour has mainly extended to HermoineAndraiaWeasley, but I think there'll be a few more soon.
YOUR ALL I NEED MY LOVE MY VALENTINE!

I've reached the middle of July with the tagging; hopefully I'll be able to complete the job soonish.

I'm sad to say that Sporfle-reader and LJer extraordinaire _redpanda_ (also known as kielle) has passed away from colon cancer. I didn't know her at all well personally, but from taking part in a few of the many projects she had going on, and from her appreciative comments here, I think I can safely say she'll be missed.

More information on where to post condolences can be found here.

Oh, and tomorrow is our next 100-Day Best Of post. If you particularly want to nominate anything, please do so here!

So, some of you may have noticed the presence of the HP Fiction Count, which myself and the house-elf have been keeping faithfully (if erratically) for the past eleven days. To cut a long story short, I was curious as to how long it would take the Voles over on the Pit (otherwise known as Fanfiction.net, to all you newbies) to bring the total of Harry Potter fanfictions filed over there to a round million. (You can - as with so many other things - blame nimbus1944 for this piece of obsessiveness. He started it all by pointing out that the count was nearly up to two hundred thousand a couple of weeks back.) Hey, we've all heard that old saw about the monkeys and the typewriters, right?

Well, it took me a few goes and some head-scratching, but here are the final results.
( Here be maths. Arrr. Not for the faint-hearted. )

At the time of Sporfling, we were 794,963 fics short of the Big Load'o'Zeros. At our current average rate, then, how long will it take us to get there? By my (quite possibly suspect) calculations, at our current rate of typing it will be ten years, two hundred and nineteen days before there are a million pieces of HP fic at the Pit. We can look forward to that happy event in early March, 2016. Better start stocking up on the Butterbeer now...

I might do a similar count in about six months' time, just to see if the recent rate has been influenced at all by the recent release of HBP.

Edit: A couple of people have pointed out that the movies tend to generate more fiction than the latest book releases. (In retrospect, it's pretty obvious: after all, many of the authors whose fictions feature here are clearly not big readers.) This requires more thought. Hmmm....
*scurries away*

The Hall of Fame has once again been updated. I seem to be doing this on a weekly basis, but that's quite unintentional. How can I resist, when you people keep cracking me up?

Congratulations, nimbus1944!

The Daily Sporfle Hall of Fame has been updated. Congratulations, carlanime!

( The Daily Sporfle Hall of Fame. Cut for pictures. )